Hey friends! Life has been so busy the past week or so, and I'm just now getting to log on and reflect on some things. To help you get to know us and our lives a bit better, I've decided to tell our C's story. You see, our sweet, brave, beautiful girl has Autism. And unlike the Cate in the past, I'm not worried about what anyone will think. Because over the years I've come to realize that Autism does not define my girl. She is her own unique person; a smart, funny, beautiful young girl.
C hit all of the normal milestones as an infant. She babbled, rolled over, crawled, sat up, and walked within normal ranges of time. She even developed speech on time, and started to make two word phrases around age two.
But at age 2.5 I began to notice certain things about C. She stopped developing speech, and began displaying odd behaviors, some of which I had experienced in working with Autistic children at WKU during my senior year internship. Something wasn't right. I could feel it in my gut, but pushed it aside. After all, nothing could be wrong with my child. What parent would want to believe that? "Enter Denial" Maybe these were just silly behaviors that other 2-3 year olds had too.
A few more months went by, and the odd behaviors increased while other skills didn't progress. C would jump on a trampoline we bought her for her third birthday for hours, while focusing on a picture frame on the wall. She would make a hissing noise while holding her hand in front of and to side of her face. She would randomly repeat phrases from shows and movies. Maybe I wasn't just "being paranoid" like my family and friends told me. C's doctor didn't feel anything was out of the ordinary when I brought up concerns at appointments. But something just didn't feel right. Oh, how I wish I could go back and tell myself "Trust your instincts, Mama."
I enrolled her into the KSI program at the county preschool program and they confirmed her delays. Yet, no concerns were noticed. Everything was "normal" they said, even though we had pages and pages that discussed various delays in all areas. But I knew. Deep down I knew that C had Autism. To say I was frustrated is an understatement.
I finally got the referral to have C tested by a local psychologist at age 4. "Enter angels singing" By this time, I was so frustrated, yet ready to receive the diagnosis so that my sweet girl could get the services she deserved. I was tired of not being listened to or helped. I wasn't just "imagining things" and she wasn't "just a late bloomer." Something wasn't right and I needed help. The appointment seemed to take forever, with various tests and observations. Finally, he took us into a room and we sat down. "Your daughter has Autism Spectrum Disorder." It's hard to explain how those words hit me. I wanted to break down and cry, but there was also such a relief to finally receive a diagnosis. I guess it's hard to know this feeling unless you have actually experienced it with your child. It's a feeling I can't properly put into words. I held it together, not wanting C to see me upset. And while the emotions started to set in, I also felt like a huge weight was lifted off of my shoulders.
The previous two years had been so hard. Knowing something was affecting my child, but not receiving the help we needed. I had started to sink into a deep depression, between dealing with the death of my lifelong best friend Emily and trying to find C the help she needed all while accepting that she may be diagnosed. Now, I finally had a diagnosis to help us move forward. A breath of fresh air to my tired soul.
C hit all of the normal milestones as an infant. She babbled, rolled over, crawled, sat up, and walked within normal ranges of time. She even developed speech on time, and started to make two word phrases around age two.
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| C & her Papa |
But at age 2.5 I began to notice certain things about C. She stopped developing speech, and began displaying odd behaviors, some of which I had experienced in working with Autistic children at WKU during my senior year internship. Something wasn't right. I could feel it in my gut, but pushed it aside. After all, nothing could be wrong with my child. What parent would want to believe that? "Enter Denial" Maybe these were just silly behaviors that other 2-3 year olds had too.
A few more months went by, and the odd behaviors increased while other skills didn't progress. C would jump on a trampoline we bought her for her third birthday for hours, while focusing on a picture frame on the wall. She would make a hissing noise while holding her hand in front of and to side of her face. She would randomly repeat phrases from shows and movies. Maybe I wasn't just "being paranoid" like my family and friends told me. C's doctor didn't feel anything was out of the ordinary when I brought up concerns at appointments. But something just didn't feel right. Oh, how I wish I could go back and tell myself "Trust your instincts, Mama."
I enrolled her into the KSI program at the county preschool program and they confirmed her delays. Yet, no concerns were noticed. Everything was "normal" they said, even though we had pages and pages that discussed various delays in all areas. But I knew. Deep down I knew that C had Autism. To say I was frustrated is an understatement.
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| C heading to KSI |
I finally got the referral to have C tested by a local psychologist at age 4. "Enter angels singing" By this time, I was so frustrated, yet ready to receive the diagnosis so that my sweet girl could get the services she deserved. I was tired of not being listened to or helped. I wasn't just "imagining things" and she wasn't "just a late bloomer." Something wasn't right and I needed help. The appointment seemed to take forever, with various tests and observations. Finally, he took us into a room and we sat down. "Your daughter has Autism Spectrum Disorder." It's hard to explain how those words hit me. I wanted to break down and cry, but there was also such a relief to finally receive a diagnosis. I guess it's hard to know this feeling unless you have actually experienced it with your child. It's a feeling I can't properly put into words. I held it together, not wanting C to see me upset. And while the emotions started to set in, I also felt like a huge weight was lifted off of my shoulders.
The previous two years had been so hard. Knowing something was affecting my child, but not receiving the help we needed. I had started to sink into a deep depression, between dealing with the death of my lifelong best friend Emily and trying to find C the help she needed all while accepting that she may be diagnosed. Now, I finally had a diagnosis to help us move forward. A breath of fresh air to my tired soul.
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| C & little sister E |
Fast forward to today, C is enrolled in a state-wide grant to help her receive the services she needs. She is functioning at the 9-10 year old level for most areas, and academically on track for her grade. We currently homeschool her - a whole different post for another day. 😉 She attends speech therapy and receives behavioral supports weekly, and has already graduated both physical and occupational therapies. We are so proud!
In the past eight years, we've dealt with picky eating, texture issues, sensory problems, complete meltdowns, extreme fears, behavioral issues, and repetitive behaviors. We've had to miss countless parties, events, and avoid certain activities and/or places. We've had to deal with ignorant people to fight for her and what she deserves. And we will never stop fighting.
As a mom, I've had to learn to cope with the varying emotions of seeing my child hit milestones years after other children her age. I've had to cope with seeing other children treat my child differently at school, and consoling my child when she didn't receive an invitation like everyone else. I've had to learn to forgive myself for feeling certain ways that I've now learned are totally normal to feel. But I've also gotten to witness her determination and strength. I've gotten to see her meet goals that seemed so far away, graduate therapies, and exceed others' expectations. The journey of Autism has so many highs and so many lows. But the joy and happiness she brings to our lives overrides all of the lows. Every.single.one. She is the smartest, funniest, wittiest little girl. She loves music, singing, and dancing. She enjoys going to gymnastics and piano lessons. Do we have struggles? Yes. Just like all families. Are there days I feel like throwing in the towel? Yes. That's motherhood regardless of special needs, right? But there isn't a thing I would change about her. Except maybe her tree nut allergy. 😉 She has taught me more life lessons than I could have ever learned myself. I am so thankful that God sent her to us to care for.
For any moms, dads, or family members that may be reading this and going through something similar at home, please know that you are not alone. There are so many resources available today. Be persistent and do not give up in finding the answers you need. Having a diagnosis opens up so many doors for therapy and services needed. Early intervention is KEY. Give yourself some grace and some time to process. You have to take care of yourself before you can take care of everyone else. You cannot pour from an empty cup. It is ok to feel all of the emotions, and trust me - you will feel them all. Let them happen. You will thank yourself for it later. You can do this, and you will be great!!
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| C at age 9 |
In the past eight years, we've dealt with picky eating, texture issues, sensory problems, complete meltdowns, extreme fears, behavioral issues, and repetitive behaviors. We've had to miss countless parties, events, and avoid certain activities and/or places. We've had to deal with ignorant people to fight for her and what she deserves. And we will never stop fighting.
As a mom, I've had to learn to cope with the varying emotions of seeing my child hit milestones years after other children her age. I've had to cope with seeing other children treat my child differently at school, and consoling my child when she didn't receive an invitation like everyone else. I've had to learn to forgive myself for feeling certain ways that I've now learned are totally normal to feel. But I've also gotten to witness her determination and strength. I've gotten to see her meet goals that seemed so far away, graduate therapies, and exceed others' expectations. The journey of Autism has so many highs and so many lows. But the joy and happiness she brings to our lives overrides all of the lows. Every.single.one. She is the smartest, funniest, wittiest little girl. She loves music, singing, and dancing. She enjoys going to gymnastics and piano lessons. Do we have struggles? Yes. Just like all families. Are there days I feel like throwing in the towel? Yes. That's motherhood regardless of special needs, right? But there isn't a thing I would change about her. Except maybe her tree nut allergy. 😉 She has taught me more life lessons than I could have ever learned myself. I am so thankful that God sent her to us to care for.
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| C & her biggest fan ;) |
